The author would like to apologise to everyone in the world for what
follows.
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Her name was Shampoo, she was a waitress:
Purple hair, and really cute,
With a bonbori, to boot.
She did deliv'ries on her two-wheeler
And while she cycled through the scene,
Mousse, he kept the cafe clean.
This boy was almost blind
And she was so unkind
She would punch him and she would kick him
But he didn't mind!

At the Neko, the Nekohanten
The waitress, she had 'em all pantin'.
At the Neko, the Nekohanten ...
Ramen and soba and noodles all over,
At the Neko ... he chased his love.

His name was Ranma, he had a pig-tail
He was escorted to a chair,
And he ate his ramen there.
And when he'd finished, Shampoo she glomped him,
But when Mousse came on the scene,
His face turned a shade of green.
And then the punches flew
And chairs were smashed in two
And then someone fetched a bucket, and threw water too!

At the Neko, the Nekohanten
The waitress, she had 'em all pantin'.
At the Neko, the Nekohanten ...
Ramen and soba and noodles all over,
At the Neko ... he ducked too late.

Her name is Shampoo, she was a waitress,
But that was thirty years ago
When Cologne, she ran the show.
Now it is five-star, and Shamp's the owner,
With her husband by her side,
And their pig-tailed kids besides.
She sits there, full of pluck
And thinks back on her luck:
Instead of ramen or soba that evening,
They ate Peking Duck!

At the Neko, the Nekohanten
The waitress, she had 'em all pantin'.
At the Neko, the Nekohanten ...
Ramen and soba and noodles all over,
At the Neko ... don't chase your love.

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Based on "Ranma 1/2" by Rumiko Takahashi, and "Copacabana" by Barry
Manilow, Bruce Sussman and Jack Feldman.